Wild Child.
Thursday, September 27, 2012, ϟ 0 shout(s)
So many thoughts running in my head right now. But I have no idea where to begin. The feelings that I have right now is actually.. Quite overwhelming. It just fills me up till my throat and there's this choking feeling I have ever since I got back from Chengdu.
Perhaps I should start from there.
It was my first trip overseas in my entire life, and will stay as the most memorable experience overseas, ALONE with just friends and good company. I will never ever forget the times I have spent there. What I learnt and experience there is just.. Overwhelming. The culture, the environment and everything else is just so different from what I have been living in for the past 18 years of my life. I didn't want to go back to the same old restrictive routine. I hate it. In Chengdu, I finally know how freedom is like, I really didn't want to feel restricted. Shall start ranting from here.
In fact, I don't know why I'm restricted in the first place. There's a saying that goes, "Controlling parents lead to rebellious children". At this rate, I might turn rebellious judging by the way my mom treats me. Seriously, I am already a young adult. Stop treating me like a child. I have the ability to work for my money, and i HAVE worked for my money. If you gave me a chance to prove myself and stop criticising everything that I do, I would have already started a part time job while schooling to support myself. I want to be independent. I don't want to rely too much on you especially when you say that you don't have money. But that aside, I do not understand why there is the need to take away my phone at night. It is not like I am doing some illegal things at night? So what if I am talking to people? What the fuck do you mean by talking to strangers? Fuck it mom, I don't talk to complete strangers. I only give my number to PEOPLE I KNOW. And I don't get what problem there is when people talk at night. There isn't a FUCKING rule passed down from the government that says YOUNG ADULTS CANNOT SPEAK AT NIGHT. So what if all my friends are night owls? The fact that you actually stereotyped them as "bad people" PISSES ME OFF. There isn't any fucking logic in the things you say. When I ask when you would stop taking my phone, YOU JUST IGNORE MY QUESTION. And start to scold me, insult me and do the remaining shit you usually do to me. Just because I changed my phone to the iPhone does not give you the rights to take it back. I mean, what is the fucking point anyway? You just jolly well snatch it away from me, leaving me not much to argue about. You say that I can only obtain FULL possession of my phone when I'm at my brother's age. Are you FUCKING JOKING? YOU WILL ONLY GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE WHEN I'M 23? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? At that age, I'm already WORKING for god's sake. When I'm working you're still going to take my phone back? What kind of fucked up parenting logic is this? I'm getting pissed off every second when I'm typing this but I swear to GOD or whatever that is up above that I feel so damn restricted in EVERY SINGLE WAY. I understand if you won't let me go overseas but TAKING AWAY MY PHONE? FUCK THAT SHIT MOM. FUCK IT.
Okay anyway, just to sum up the trip. I got to know many fantastic people, had many unforgettable moments, did many shit that I would never ever get the chance to do when I'm in this invisible jail cell and a hell of a dose of HTHT with amazing people in the wee hours of the morning. Really love such a life like this. Heck, I could live such a life. But on the other hand I do want to migrate to NZ when I retire and build a farm looking over the cliffs ;)
I'm missing everything already. I want to go back. :(
But, back to reality. And reality does suck most of the times.